LONELINESS

Before reading the passage, answer these questions.

 .  Do you ever feel lonely?

 .  Why do we we fell lonely?

 . What is your feeling when you’re lonely?

Although many people value relationship above all else, satisfying ties are hard to achiece and loneliness is a common dilemma for both children and adults (Rubbin,1982). The experience of loneliness, althought conceptualized in carious ways, has two defineng features. First, it is unpleasant. Second, the lonely person perceives deficiencies in social in relationship (de Jong – Giervield & Raadsschelders in 1982; D Russell,1984). One may be cut off from social ties without feeling lonely. Loneliness can occur in these overlapping situations (Peplau & Pearlman, 1982) Changes in social relations. Close relationship often end as one partner moves away psychologically or physically or dies. The equality of relationships sometimes deteriorates with time.

       1 . Changes in social needs. Which very throughout the live span, people experience loneliness. Adolescents, for example, often long for intimacy before they find a companion ( Brennan, 1982). After devotion to work during early adulthood, many middle-aged adults turn again to social ties for live satisfaction and fine their lives empty. 

      2. Personal qualities. Lonely individuals appear more negative, rejecting, self-absorbed, self-critical, and less responsive than others (Brenna,1982;Jones,1982,Stokes,1985). Even if involved with a number of people negativity may incline the lonely to dwell in the deficiencies also show up in the psychology laboratory, where lonely people find it hard to think of ways to solve problems with others. (for example : You just moved into a new neighborhood. How would you go about finding some friends?). Limited socials skills reduce opportunuties for relationship building and keep people from taking advantage of opportunities that arise.

     3. Cultural influence. Cultural emphases on competition and independence can interfere with interpersonal needs.

    4. Situational influence. When the poeple live on work in isolation, loneliness is more troublesome. Life changes such as becoming housebond, losing transportation, moving or traveling may cut some individuals off from others. In one study, three out of every four college students living away from their families admitted experiencing loneliness during their first term ( Cutrona, 1982 )

Glossary

       · Features : ciri-ciri

       · Deficiencies : Kekurangan

       · Deteriorates : memburuk

       · Keep pace with : menyetarakan dengan

       · Devotion : Kesetian

       · Self-absorbed : Asyik dengan diri sendiri

       · Incline : mencondongkan

       · Interfere with : Mencampuri/mengganggu

       ·Housebond : terkurung dirumah, tidak bisa kemana-mana dikarenakan sakit.

Exercise 1

Answer these question below

        1. What loneliness?  

        2. Why does loneliness happen to both childrend and adults?

        3. What is effect of loneliness?

        4. When does loneliness happen?

        5 . In what situation does loneliness ussualy occur to children?

        6. If you move to a new environmenr, sometimes you feel lonely. In which point (number) do you find?

        7. Give the example(S) that lonelines appears more negatively

         8. What is the relationship between cultural influence and loneliness?

THE FAMILY AND PERSONALITY DEVELOPMENT

The family that Vicky and Jason grow up in is probably the largest single influence on their development. Were their births planned and welcomed? How old were their parents? How well do the personalities of parents and child mesh? Are the parents healty? Are they whealthy or poor? How many people live at home? Influence travels in the other direction too. Children also effect their parents in untold ways,transforming parents dayto-day moods, priorities and plans for the future-even a marriage it self.

Family life for both Vicky and Jasonis quite different from what it would have been a century ago, and familylife is likely to change even more in the future. A child growing up today is likely to have only one sibling, a mother who works outside the home, and a father who is more involved in his children’s lives than his own father was; and to receive a considerable amount ofdaily care from non relatives, first in a caregiver’s home or day care center and than at a preschool. Today’s children have a 40 percent chance of spending part of their childhood with only one parent’s probably the mother and probably because of divorce.

These changes have revolutionized the study of socialization how children learn the behaviors their culture considers appropriate. In the past, most researches focused on mothers and their children, but now researches are studying bounds between children and their fathers, their brothers and sisters, their grandparents, and other caregivers.

Another fascinating trend in research is the focus on the entire famlily. How does Erlen and Charles,s marital realitionshipaffect the relationshipthat each spouse has with Vicky? Do Julia and Jess differently with Jason when either one is alone with him yielded provocative findings. For example, when both parents are parents and talking to each other, they pay less attention to their child. In some families, the spouses closeness to each other may detract their abilityto be close to their children; in other the parenting experience strengthens the marriage tie. By looking at the family as a unit, we get a fuller picture of the web of relationships among family members.

Glossary

 

Mesh : menghubungkan

Moods : suasana hati

Personalities : kepribadian

Considerable : banyak/ besar

Sibling : saudara

NonRelative : tidak ada hubungan kekerabatan

Caragiver : pengasuh anak

Preschool : masa sebelum sekolah

Childhood : masa nak- anak

Divorce : percaraian, bercerai

Attention : perhatian

Spouse : suami / istri

Detract : mengurangi

Socialization : permasyarakatan

Behaviour : Tingkah laku

Tie : Mengikat, ikatan

Exercise 1

Answer the following question

1. Is their any relationship between the family and personality development?

2. What factors influence their children development?

3. What are the roles of parents for their children?

4. What are the different between the ancient and the recent family life?

5. Why can the spouses closeness lessen their ability to be close to their children?

Exercise 2

Thing about how you could support the following statment. Tell several psibilities. Some example have been given for the first one.

1. My father is my mentor.

Examples of how he guide me.

- He taught me how to resolve problems with friends for example

- …………

- I worked for him during vacation and learned

2. My mother is my best friend

3. My grandmother / grandfather has been like a mother/ father to me.

Exercise 3

Fill the blank by using the words given

Chilhood, behavior, divorce, caregiver, personality, sibling, attention, spouse, preschool

1. Tata’s family say that she is an idealist. She must be able to get what she wants. It seems that she has a strong………

2. Tom falls in love with Alice. Tom’s parents are going to propose her but when they know Alice’s “parent” they abrogate their plan because Tom and Alice ae one …….. Tom and Alice were seperated when the ywere still a baby.

3. Jenny’s father is an engineer and Jenny’s mother is a career women. Thay are very busy, so they are not able to take care their only child. They should send her in ……… when they work.

4. ………. is very important for the children before they come to kindergarten. It can train the children’s imagination develop well.

5. Robin and Handrick’s parents are very rich.whatever they want their parents always give them. When they are child they had so many toys. Really they had a happy ……..

6. Mrs. Tuti hardly can show her sadness after her ……….. with her loved husband.

7. To be a good teacher, he must know how to secure the …….. of his pupils.

8. Mr. Johan has married amny for 25 years. People think that they are a very suitable ……

9. I feel that he always avoid me. I don’t know why, but i am sure that his ……… toward me shows that he doesn’t like me.

CONVERSATION IN GROUP

DISCUSS ONE OF THE NUMBERS!

1. Tell abot your self or somebody or some person you know well. Describe both appearance and personality.

2. Tell your unforgattabke experience

3. Discuss about “insane peole”

4. Tell about yourself or somebody or wome person you know well. Describe both appearance and personality.

5. Tell your group members whether you ever get it, what you always do and how you always try to cure it. If you don’t : please, inform your group members the best way to avoid depression.

6. One of you pretends to be a psychiatrist and the other one is someone who wants to commit suicide. Then make a dialogue.

7. Tell your group members about someone you proud of.

8. Tell your group members about your own comment on “LOVE”

9. Act out conversation in a psychologist’s room in which he and his client discuss how the client solves his psychological maltreatment.

10. Choose a situation in your own life where you enough knowledge ti give some advice ( for example, you may be able to give a good advice on how to face life).

ADVICE COLUMN

IN GROUP, ACT AS IF TEAM OF PSYCHOLOGIST. ONE OF THE MEMBERS ACTS AS IF THE CLIENT, FOR ONE OF THE CLASS!

1. I am twenty and engaged. I love my fiance very much. The problem is his father.

He is only fourty, his wife is dead. He says he is in love with me and that he will kill him self unless i marry him. The sittuation is impossible. How can i marry my fiance’s father?

Unfortunately, i think i am in love with him as much as with his son. I want to tell my fiance all about this, but if i do, he will be hurt and angry. Whatever i do, it seems i’ll hurt either him or his father. What would you do if you were me?

2. I love my boyfriend, but there is a problem. He seems to love his mother more than me.

Whenever we go out, he takes her along, whenever we go, she goes too. Whenever we do, she does as well. I wouldn’t put up with this for a moment if i didn’t love him so much. We’re going to married soon. I’m afraid that when we do, his mother will come to live with us. What can i do?

3. Tell seceral things you wouls say in each of the followings situations. Use the evpressions “if were you” to give advice

SITUATION A

A friends of yours os planning to drive home from a party and asks you to come a long. You know that he has already had several drinks and is about to have another.

SITUATION B

Another friends tells you that he is going to buy a used car from a car dealer who advertises on television. You know that ads are lies because last year you bought a car from the same dealer.

SITUATION C

another one of your friends, who has always been a very serious student, announces that he is going to quit school.

4. Give a short talk about the birthday celebration you would have if you had the time and money to celebrate your next birthday in whatever way you wanted. Where would celebrate?

How many friends would you invite? What kind of food and drink would you serve? What kind of entertainment would you have? What gift would you like to recieve? Since the party is imaginary, there are no restriction. You could, for example, hire a private plane and bring friends from all over the world.

Childhood
depression

“nobody likes me” is a common
complaint in middle childhood, when children tend to be popularrity conscious.
But when these words were addressed to a school principal by an 8-year old boy
in florida whose classmate had accused him of stealing from the teacher’s purse,
it was a danger signal. The boy vowed that he would never return to school and
he never did. Two days later, he hanged 
him self by a belt from the top rail of his bunk bed.

Fortunetly, depressed children
rarely go to such lengths, though suicide among young people is in the increase.
How can we tell the difference between a harmless period of the “blues” (which
we all experience at times) and a major affective disorder that is, a disorder
of mood? The basic symptoms of an affective disorder are similar from childhood,
by some features are age spesific 9dsm III-r, 1987).

Friendleness is only one sign of
childhood depresion. This disorder is also characterized by inability to have
fun or to concentrate, and by and absence of normal emotional reactions.
Depressed children are frequently tired, extremely active, or inactive. They
walk very little, cry a great deal, have a trouble concentrating, sleep to much
or too late, lose their appetite, start doing poorly in school, look unhappy,
complain of physical ailment, feel over whelmingly guilt, suffer severe
separation anxiety (which may take the form of the school phobia), or think
often about death or suicide. Any  four
or five of these symptoms may support a diagnosis of depression, esspecially
when they represenr a marked change from the child’s usual pattern. Parents do
not always recognize “minor” problems like sleep disturbance, loss of apperite,
and irriability as signs of depressions, but children themselves are often able
to describe how they feel.

No one is sure of the exact cause
of depression in children or adults. There us some evidence for biochemical
predispotion, which may br triggered by specific experience. Depression school
age-children are children likely to lacj social and acadmy competence, but it is
not clear weather incompetence cause depression or vice versa. The parents or
depressed children are more likelu to be depressed themselves, suggesting a
possible genetic factor, a reflection aof general stress in all families, or the
result of poor parenting practice by disturbed parents.

GLOSSARY

Complaint                           : keluhan

Address                                : menunjukan

Accuse                                  : menuduh

Stealing                                 : mencuri

Vow                                       : berjanji

Features                              : ciri-ciri

Suicide                                  : bunuh diri

Appetite                              : nafsu makan

Ailments                              : penyakit

Trigger                                  : menyebabkan

Vice versa                           : sebaiknya

Predisposition                   : kecendrungan

 

Excercise 1

1.       What happens
when 5 years old children say “nobody like me”?

2.       What happens
when 10 years old children say “nobody like me”?

3.       Waht will the
children do when they get depression?

4.       Why do the
children get depression?

5.       When the
children are accused by their friends, will they get depression?

6.       What is (are)the
symptom(s) of childhood depression?

7.       What happens to
the parents when their children get depression?

Excercise 2

Fill in the blank with the listed
appropriate words

1.       I am not a
manager. I am just a staff in this office. Don’t give your complaints to move
because i cant detemine its follow-up. Please … your complaints to the
manager.

2.       I really hate
someone who … me without a real evidence. Don’t think that i am a thief if you
dont hava a proof. Don’t say that u am a coward if you don’t know much about
me.

3.       She is a careful
woman. She never puts her money in her pocket. She always put it in her …
besides, she also puts it un the bag.

4.       He has
sacrificed his life for the woman. He loves very much. But the woman,
unfortunately, runs away with the other man. He really hates that women, even
all of the women. He … never to fall in love with the women.

5.       Because of my
sadness, i don’t have … i am not interested in food in front of me, although
it is very delicious. I don’t want to eat it

 

Exercise 3

Make
sentences from the words below

 

1.      
Predisposition                                   : …

2.       Feature                                                 : …

3.       Triggered                                             : …

4.       Symptoms                                          : …

5.       Depression                                         : …

6.       Harmless                                             : …

7.       Severe                                                 : …

8.       Disturb                                                : …

9.       Complaint                                          : …

10.   Disorder                                              : …

 

LANGUAGE  WORK

Look
at the example:

 

Depressed
children rarelu go to lengths, though suicide among young people is on the
increase.

Rarely in this
sentece is called and adverb of frequency. The others are usually, always,
sometimes, never, often, seldom, occasionally, frequently, almost.

 

Exercise 4

Put the
adverb of frequency correctly into these sentences

 

1.       He smokes a
cigarette after every meal (usually)

2.       Do they write to
you? (ever)

3.       You can tell if
a dog is dreaming by watching its legs (sometimes)

4.       I pass the post
office in may way back (usually)

5.       The roof leaks
when it rains ( occasionally)

6.       This type of
plants grows tall (never)

7.       It rains in this
part of the world (hardly never)

8.       Do you answer
back life this? (often)

9.       We correspond
through the post (frequently)

10.   They invite us over
a cup of tea (generally)

11.   She is very busy at
this time of the day (usually)

12.   Had the lesson
started when you arrived? (already)

13.   We have finished our
syllabus for a year (nearly)

14.   Your friend needs
your help (always)

15.   We are lazy to cook,
so we eat out (sometimes)

16.   I tripped over the
dog in the dark (almost)

 

Exercise 5

Substitute a
word like always for the multi – word adverbial of frequency.

Example :
Mary drinks milk all of the time

            
MARY ALWAYS DRINKS MILK.

1.     John drinks coffe
some of the time

2.     He almost never
drinks tea

3.     Mr. Allen drinks
coffee much of the time

4.     Mrs. Allen almost
never drinks coffee

5.     She drinks coffee
most of the times

6.     Mr.  And Mrs. Clinton eat in restaurant some of
the time

7.     Chessie almost
never eats in restaurant

8.     Phillip eats in
bamboo restaurant all of the time

9.     She eats at home
most of the time

10. Mr. And Mrs. Tanty
eats in a restaurant much of the times